31/12/2019
If you took all the dishes
I washed this year
They would fill a warehouse
And the cigarettes
Would fill a jumbo jet
If you took the sorrow
The heartache and the pain
It would be enough for an ordinary lifetime
For every year
For the past 6 years
The coffee would fill
An ocean
And the medications
A semi trailer
Like the one that nearly claimed my life
If you took the interrupted sleep
Of a thousand head checks
The anger would fill
A hot air balloon
And if you took
The kindness shown
From friends, family and lovers
You might just make it through
These troubled times
—
At one point while writing my book( that’s still in progress) I thought about the fact I’d been smoking 20 cigarettes a day for 1000 days and that would mean 20,000 cigarettes. 8 coffees a day, 8000 coffees and gigantic stack of dishes 4 days a week for a year.
It’s true also that I nearly lost my life getting hit by a semi-trailer at full speed.
The kindness shown by my family, old friends and a very special woman I used to know (that no longer talks to me) helped me get through without losing hope. I am deeply grateful for anyone that showed any amount of kindness during my time. They may have saved my life.
