Cowboys

29/09/2019

It’s true of everyone

That everything could be different

A thousand little choices

Led us to be

Where we are now

We could have been cowboys

My brothers and I

But a logistical problem

Stopped us moving to the country

And riding horses near Grafton

If we kept the baby

When my friend with benefits

Told me she was pregnant

Nothing would be the same

It can destroy you

If you let it

Thinking about all the things

That could have been different

If you hadn’t picked up the phone

One fateful day so long ago,

Had made a move sooner

When heaven beckoned

And had thought twice

Before the awful crunch

But you can’t change the past

Only try to do better

Each moment as it passes

Take pride in the decisions you make now

And let the path of regret

Fade to black

As you walk the through fire of modern life

—

When I started to get to know my father I found out we were supposed to move to the country when me and my brothers were kids. It fell through and we grew up in the suburbs of Canberra.

When I first got locked up I didn’t know if I was going to spend the rest of my days behind bars. Put myself though hell thinking of all the things I could have done differently or not at all.

Later in life I have forgiven myself but I still think sometimes of what could have been had I played the hands I was dealt in a thousand different ways.

I keep the words of hard core punk band ‘Champion’ with me, “There’s always a path you can take break free and take pride in decisions you’ve made”.