The pain of being deprived never really fades.
There’s a lot of things I live without:
The company of family and friends
The chance to pursue my passions
To choose the company I keep
To choose the hours that I sleep
I live without:
Women and wine
True laughter and cheer
My choices are curtailed
By cinder block walls
But of all the things I live without
What cuts the deepest is to be deprived
Of the one I love
Who makes my spirit soar
And makes me whole
Where once was a fragile flame of life
And once was the desolation of my soul
With each passing day
She becomes more distant
And forges on through life
Without my protection
As I dream of her light
In the darkest of places
And wonder if someday
When the light shines on us again
She’ll have room in her life
For a man that’s had to live without
Jail takes away many things, family, friends and lovers for starters. Freedom, music, entertainment and the choice of how to live your life. You have to work over time to achieve any sort of contentment and while you learn to live without these things the pain of being deprived never really fades.
A big question that stayed with me throughout my time was whether the one I always loved would ever forgive me and be part of my life.
She didn’t and isn’t and it stung for a while and only hurts me now that I may have hurt her. But I no longer dwell too long on regrets. I’ve learned to live with my burden.