Happy Tears

Someday I’ll be ready to feel again.

22/5/2019

When I first got locked up

Facing life no parole

I never cried

My world had ended

And it seemed

That all I would know

For the rest of my life

Was the inside of a cell

When I first got locked up

There was a young man

Who looked tough as nails

A real warrior type

And oh how he cried

It seemed like

He did nothing else

It wasn’t because I was tough

I was just too busy

Fighting a war in my head

With the voices and the pressure

Of believing thousands

Were reading my thoughts

Make no mistake

I was in a bad way

Now five years deep

And still no tears

They say they’ll come

When I walk out that gate

Only they’ll be tears of joy

Relief and rapture

So bring on the happy tears

—

It takes a lot for a grown man to cry, I’m pretty sure I would have felt better if I did but alas no tears.

Now I’m a free man no happy tears either, the reason is…drum roll.. anti-depressants. They cut out the highs and the lows. I dare not stop taking them because who knows what could happen. Maybe someday I’ll be ready to feel again, but it won’t be any time soon. They saved my life.