Someday I’ll be ready to feel again.
22/5/2019
When I first got locked up
Facing life no parole
I never cried
My world had ended
And it seemed
That all I would know
For the rest of my life
Was the inside of a cell
When I first got locked up
There was a young man
Who looked tough as nails
A real warrior type
And oh how he cried
It seemed like
He did nothing else
It wasn’t because I was tough
I was just too busy
Fighting a war in my head
With the voices and the pressure
Of believing thousands
Were reading my thoughts
Make no mistake
I was in a bad way
Now five years deep
And still no tears
They say they’ll come
When I walk out that gate
Only they’ll be tears of joy
Relief and rapture
So bring on the happy tears
—
It takes a lot for a grown man to cry, I’m pretty sure I would have felt better if I did but alas no tears.
Now I’m a free man no happy tears either, the reason is…drum roll.. anti-depressants. They cut out the highs and the lows. I dare not stop taking them because who knows what could happen. Maybe someday I’ll be ready to feel again, but it won’t be any time soon. They saved my life.
Christo, I enjoyed reading your poem. About the Prozac…When you are ready to go off it, you should probably do so under medical supervision. I learned that the hard way with another medication about 25 years ago.
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Thanks Cheryl, I’ve heard it’s tough getting off them so I definitely will try to be smart about it and do it gradually. Take care
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