Everything happens for a reason.
9/10/2019
The first time I attempted suicide
I was serious about it
I tied my hands behind my back
And kicked ‘The Bucket’
Only it was a milk crate in this case
Somehow in the time it took to pass out
I got my hands free
And pulled my neck out of the rope
I lost consciousness as I hit the ground
And lost my nerve to try again
I had no plans beyond ending it
So I just sat in my van
Not eating much and thinking less
After a few days of straight up misery
I stepped out of my van
To find the creek bed I had chosen
For it’s remote obscurity
Had filled with water
Leaving me on an island
Then I noticed
I had a flat tyre
And so I felt, this is it
There was nothing left
But to try again
When all hope was lost
An angel appeared
The local cop
The only one for miles and miles
Rocked up at the creek
And offered to take me back to civilization
It wasn’t my time
—
I was in a lot of pain leading up to the years I spent locked up, it’s takes a surprising amount of will power to end your own life and even then instinct and luck can save you when you least expect it.
Every day I’m thankful that I made it through the head space that left me wanting to end it. If I knew then how much I would enjoy life in the future I would never have tried.
Some believe that everything happens for a reason, maybe that’s true.
Thank you for sharing this story, Christo. ❤ You never know who will benefit from reading it. I am glad your life is better now. 🙂 I wish you a long, happy life! Cheryl
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