One Happy One Sad (2)

In truth

I haven’t been at my best

This last decade

Every mistake is now

My own infinite failure

From the office job

To the night shift

To the warehouse

To the prison

And beyond

All the while searching

For the clarity and confidence

I was blessed with

As a youth

And those that know me

At my best

Are the only ones

Who can resurrect my spark

That opened the world to me

Like an oyster

In the glory of youth

And those precious few

Don’t want to  know me

And the person I’ve become

I don’t blame them

Not many do

They say in times of hardship

The quantity of your friends diminishes

And the quality of your friends improves

So I cherish the precious few

Drops of human kindness

That falls so sparsely

In the wake of

A life that you wouldn’t wish

On your worst enemy

Still hope survives

Resolute and strong

And thank god for that

—

Sometimes it’s hard to remain positive in the wake of the hardship that came with jail, I feel like it’s possible to have a decade of poor form followed by a decade of excellence. This is what I strive for.

Life is better than it was and continues to improve but I still wouldn’t wish my troubles on anyone.

I have faith that those few old friends that remain can guide me to a brighter future.