Guiding Light

This one’s for her, my favorite girl.

07/02/2021

You ruled my heart

For 15 years

The sweetest fruit on the vine

And the gem in the crown

Of our youthful social scene

In my mind I call you

Mary star of the sea

The guiding light

Bringing me home

And keeping me from despair

In the darkest of times

You said you loved me

Unconditionally

Forever

And I felt the same

But times have changed

I told you I was a free man

And you said

“I cherish the time we spent together,

But things have shifted”

So, while it hurts

More than most will ever know

I remain stoic and move on

And maybe someday

You could forgive me

For all the things I haven’t done

For failing you as a man

And letting my demons destroy me

When I should have been

Building something beautiful with you

Every love song still reminds me of you

And I look for you

In other women’s eyes

I may love again

I may find peace

And a companion to make

This life less lonely

But I just don’t think

Anyone will ever be

As special as you

Farewell my queen

If I should be so lucky

Maybe someday I’ll see you again

—

In high school and beyond there was always one girl that everyone was in love with. I was no different but was probably the closest with her. I always hoped we would end up together but the path my life took made me less and less a man worthy of the light she created in everyone around her.

It’s a thorn in my side that that she has moved on and doesn’t really want to know me, but I’ve come to terms with it and it pains me less and less.

This one’s for her, my favorite girl though I doubt she’ll ever read it.